06. Temple
The Last piece for Crawling Veins: A collage series exploring lost familial connections through art and paper PLUS a free printable
This is the final piece of a series to help me connect with my heritage and to learn about myself more as an artist. The book I am pulling papers from to use as a substrate is titled “Pennsylvania Dutch Cut & Use Stencils: 47 Full-Size Stencils Printed on Durable Stencil Paper” by JoAnne C. Day. This final piece is completed on the inside of the back cover of the book as an act to move past and release the need to hyper-analyze my past.
I’ve spent a lot of my time in sobriety (nearing 8 years) analyzing my behavior, my past, looking to my family for answers. The yearning to know, to understand how so many things went so awry is still there. But I am laying it down.
I’ve made it no secret that I’ve been studying the path of contemplative Christianity as well as other paths based in non-duality. This act of letting go…of accepting that I don’t have, and probably won’t ever have, all the answers…is one of faith.
I am choosing to have faith that I am not meant to control it all. I am choosing to have faith that I will be awkward, and messy, and may screw up sometimes.
I am choosing to see the beauty in this life. I do so, knowing that the world holds horrors in it that would have crumpled me just three years ago. I cannot allow myself to give in to despair. I’ve worked hard at building resilience to hold difficult emotions and continue working and listening and learning.
I know it is my responsibility to do better. I have to look at the world as it is. I cannot shy away from the challenge of hard work. That work will not always be what I thought or expected. It doesn’t make it any less important.
I’m left feeling an emptiness in me. Less like I’ve lost something, more like I’ve finally cleared enough away to hold space for something different. I think that is where my prayers, my poetry, and my art are leading me. Thanks for journeying with me so far. I hope you continue to walk this path with me. I am grateful to have you here.
i sit here in this,
the temple of my own making
a life built
by the grace of
forgiveness
service
love
sacrifice
there is still
hard work to be done
i've realized
perhaps too late
this ordinary work,
this vocation of mundanity
is a blessing...
not a curse
This is the sixth and final piece of my series “Crawling Veins.” The series explores lost familial connections through art and paper. The title of this piece is “Temple.” It was completed 07.27.2025. It’s a mixed media collage on the back-cover of a vintage stencil book.The piece measures slightly less than 8.5” x 11.” It curves in slightly on the bottom left corner where it was slightly ripped. It is available for purchase, as well as all other originals in this series. Please email starmothpress@gmail.com for inquiries. No NFTs. Prints will be available via Redbubble.
Let’s Connect!
Feel free to respond to this email if you have anything you’d like to share, or leave a comment! I am back on Instagram in a much more intentional way under starmothcreates. I’ve also meandered back to TikTok for the time being, link below. I’ve hit a creative flow that has felt really good to share. I’m going with my gut. Feel free to find me in any of those places, or simply connect here. Stickers and care mail are available through Ko-fi. Reminder that most originals are available and that I am open to discussing price and/or trade. Prints and other items are available through Redbubble.
Thank you for being here <3 May we all love each other better.
Rikki aka
This piece and your words about letting go hit me deeply. There's something so powerful about that shift you describe, about moving from the desperate need to understand and control everything about your past to accepting that some questions might never have answers.
I've been learning in my own journey with depression that this ordinary, mundane work of building a life (the daily practices, the small acts of service, the willingness to be awkward and messy) is actually sacred work. For so long I thought healing meant having all the answers, being fixed, being perfect. But it's more about making peace with the questions and finding grace in the everyday mess of being human.
The way you're using art to process and release your family history feels so powerful. Sometimes I think creating is the only way to move through things that can't be solved or understood intellectually. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable conclusion to your series. There's something beautiful about choosing faith over control, even when the world feels so chaotic.
Grateful to witness your journey through this work.